Things to Come

 

Sorry friends for the lack of updates, but there are things to come.  I am working on a side project, that I hope I can reveal soon.

Til then its school and more school.

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Loving Ruckus

We had our moments when we didn’t get along.  He was a jealous creature and the fact that we had to share my mom’s love didn’t go well with him.  We’d argue and often had a battle of wills, but at the end of the day he would give me big sloppy kisses and all would be good.  As he got older and we spent more time together, I realized how valuable it was to have a friend who would never let you down, stay with you while you cried, give you unconditional love, and protect you through your scariest moments.

He has protected us in ways I never could imagine and now he’s gone.

At first I was pretty disappointed that I spent most of my birthday picking up after Ruckus every single time he got sick, but as I look at it, it was my last birthday with him, and I spent it taking care of the guy that’s taken care of all of us.  We spent our last week with Ruckus giving him tons of pills, injections, and IVs.  Ruckus and I didn’t get much sleep with his labored breathing and hacking and coughing.  I woke up every time I heard him hack, so I could relax him and rub him and hope that he would get some rest.  I spent a lot of time talking to my dog telling him things you don’t usually tell your dog, and he listened and stared at me with his big beautiful eyes like he understood how much I loved him.

I never could understand how hard it would be to make the decision to let one of your most beloved best friends go.  To some it may seem silly to cry over a dog, but of course to me he was always more than that.  He meant something different to everyone in the family.  He was my dad’s close companion after his heart attack.  He was my mom’s closest thing to a grandchild.  He was my brother’s best friend.  He was Chris’ friend and protector.  He was such a special guy and I hated watching him suffer.  We had been through a lot throughout his life.  We survived his hip injury as a puppy, his broken toe and subsequent toe removal, his seizures and prostate issues, and as recently as a month ago his bloat and surgery.  He had always pulled through, but this time was different, there was no pulling through this one.

On our last full day together we did some of his favorite things.  We went for a walk and then spent some quality time with Lindy.  We all spent some time with him and gave him extra love.  I’ll always love my special guy and he cannot be replaced.  We’re still adjusting to not having him around, still stepping around him, expecting him to meet us at the door, and waiting for him to join us in the bedroom.

Puppy, we miss you, love you, and we’re waiting for you to come home.

Our last full day together.

His last Lindy date.

My gorgeous guy about 2 years ago.

Here’s our Ruckus SLIDESHOW
Music: Count on Me by Bruno Mars

We also want to thank the wonderful staff at VCA Lakewood for always taking care of Ruckus when he came in and really showing how much you care.  We especially want to thank Dr. Balsam and Dr. Smith for doing a wonderful job with Ruckus.  After his last surgery Dr. Smith made sure to call us every other week or so to see how Ruckus was doing.  He was there with us until the end and it means so much to us all that he did for him.

Goodbye 25

This is officially my last hour of being 25.  Goodbye early twenties, hello late twenties.  When I was younger, on the day before my birthday I would write about everything that happened to me in a year of my life.

At 25, I started a new school full of a lot of changes, it’s been a difficult transition, but I’m almost used to it.  Did I still want to be in school at this age? No, but I’m okay with where I am because I know it’s going to lead me to bigger and better things.

I decided to make some bold career moves, and I’m still trying to make bold moves.  I was thrilled to hear Jasmine Star speak at Cypress College, which motivated me much more to do what I’m doing.  Chris and I also had the pleasure of attending the ShowIT Freedom Tour and being in the presence of some very talented people.

I lost my grandfather earlier this year, and it was one of the toughest times  in my life.  I still see him in my dreams, at the store, and I still look for him at parties.  Life still feels weird without him.

I made and lost some friends this year.  It’s opened my eyes to some things about human nature, and I learned a lot about others and I learned about myself.  It”s been painful, especially the last few months, but I’ve learned that I’m a stronger, more mature, and more level headed person than I used to be.

I celebrated 5 years of friendship and love with Chris and I am so glad that he’s still a part of my life.  He still makes me laugh and smile like no one else.

I spent my last 25 year old day getting a hair cut, getting my eyebrows threaded, shopping, and getting a massage.

So goodbye 25, hello 26.

My new birthday haircut.

Love and Gossip

So when I wrote the previous blog, I honestly thought life was going to calm down and I could blog way more.  Of course that is not the case, but I am quite happy for the reason we are so busy.  Someone hooked Chris up with a new job.  It’s been a bit demanding and it requires logging in a lot of miles on the cars, but we’re doing it together and I have really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together this week.  Not to get super gushy, but last night I was giving him a big hug and I couldn’t help but think that even though we’ve almost been together for 5 years I continue to fall in love with him.  Sometimes in our lives we move so fast, doing too much, that we don’t take the time to stop and feel.  After a long exhausting day, all I could think about was how much I love him.

Chris has been my rock through the roughest of moments and we have gone through some things that other couples will ever have to face.  I honestly feel like he was brought into my life at the right time and for a reason.  Because of all this, it really upsets me when people who have no idea what we’ve been through and what our circumstances are go behind my back and talk about us.  I know there are whispers about things and what is really hurtful is I know that it comes from people who are very close to me.  I am human so it hurts me and makes me mad.  I would love to call these people out since they are taking it upon themselves to say things about us, but let them talk.  I am secure enough in my love and my relationship that though it hurts me, I know we’re happy and in love.  So if you want to keep talking about us and tearing us down, it’s not going to make your life any better…PROMISE.

BTW..I am taking any and all suggestions for Chris’ birthday dinner and gifts.

Also, please check out my MK site and send me a message if you are interested in anything on it or have any questions.

Chris and Kimberly 2006 edition.

My old apartment.

Annie’s 23rd birthday.

Chris’ townhouse in HB.

Where Have I Been?

It’s been well over a month since I blogged, and yes I suck for not getting back on here sooner.  As soon as I said goodbye to my old job and hello free time, my free time well wasn’t that free anymore.  All of a sudden I had stuff to do everyday.  What kind of stuff?  Well, it’s just been STUFF.  My life has been Go Go Go.  So unless you really want a very long blog about what I’ve been doing, I’ll just talk about the highlights.

June was my last month as a TA and as the last day kept coming I was very sad to let it go, but I knew that I would have to in order to keep moving in the direction I wanted to go.  At the beginning of June I was really stressed out, Finals were fast approaching, the kids were going to have their culmination, we had luncheons we had to plan, it was all a big mess.  At that point I couldn’t wait for school to end, but as a surprise at the culmination with the help of some parents they all said goodbye.  I knew something was up, but as those parents stood up with their signs, my emotions came rushing out.  Let me tell you, bawling in front of roughly 200 people is pretty embarrassing.   They left me with a gorgeous photo of all the kids holding up the same signs the parents held up that day.  I knew that I was stressed out, but I had to turn my attitude around and enjoy the kids as long as I had them. enjoy working with the amazing parents, and enjoy working with my co-workers, some of the most amazing and talented teachers and aspiring teachers I will ever know.

Chris and I got away for a few days to Las Vegas.   The trip was highlighted by the most amazing meal we have had.  We weren’t thrilled about the accommodations we received at the Luxor, but we LOVED eating at Tender in the Luxor.  Everything was wonderfully prepared and the chocolate cake was perfection.

Our summer has been littered with Dodgers games and I love my Dodgers, but 3/4 were disappointing.  We went to 2 games against the Yankees, and of course they happen to be the two games they LOST!  But on a brighter note, I think I have solidified Chris’ allegiance to the Dodgers and I think he will find it very hard to go back to loving the Yankees.  We went to a Cubs game that they won and it was great to be able to go with my “sister” Stacy and to reconnect with her after a couple years of not seeing her.  The last game we saw was against the Giants and that game broke my heart.  We had it, but a dropped ball and some nasty ejections led to me leaving the game before it was over for the first time in my life.  I have sat through some miserable losses and never turned around to leave until the last play, but it was ugly and Chris and I left.

So with all this busy time, I really am going to make an effort to blog more…promise.

Oh!  We have been taking pictures too in all our busyness, here are pictures of our tour of the Diemer Water Plant with SARBS.

Love/Hate Relationship

I am having a love/hate relationship with my blog right now.

I love it because:

• its FREE
• I generally love to blog.
• its fairly easy to use.
• I can check out my stats, which is pretty cool but can become a sad obsession.
• I can be me.

I don’t love it because:

• It looks boring.  A “custom” banner and a white background?  BORING.
• Adding pictures  can be kind of a pain.
• Though I like blogging, I haven’t had time.
• I check my stats almost obsessively.
• I can be me, but it doesn’t really say MEEE!

So I promise myself and Chris too, once finals are over (JUNE 8th) and I can be fairly normal again, I will find a way to turn this into US.  I will take a million more pictures and actually blog them (look for blogs about Heather and Brandon’s engagement party and ZAMA soccer).

In the mean time, I’d like to share a bit about what’s been going on in our lives, since I haven’t really had the chance to blog about all the bloggable things in our lives.

We each have developed our own new obsession this last week or so.  I have logged in many hours on Etsy.com because apparently I heart hand crafted things, especially jewelry.  I am waiting patiently for my four, yes FOUR necklaces that I have ordered in the last week.

Chris received two tarantulas in the mail this week, two tiny spiderlings, courtesy of The Invert Shop.  I wasn’t thrilled with  the idea of these 8 legged creatures growing old with us, but they’re kind of cute in a gross and weirdly fascinating way.  Unfortunately for us, we lost one.  So our little smithi is somewhere and we don’t know if he’s dead or alive.  Chris is pretty bummed about it, but he’s already ordered another smithi and another one to our fast growing collection of things that crawl.  I can thank Dr. Kaae from Cal Poly Pomona for getting Chris (a former arachnaphobe) into these creepy crawlies.

Because I have been sick and now Chris is too, we haven’t been making it to the gym every day.  I love having that routine and hate that we’re breaking it, but I love going into work and not feeling like I’m going to fall asleep, since we don’t get home from the gym until at least 11.

This is what our iPad has looked like for the last week.

Here is our smithi, our only imperfect picture before he left us. 😦

Because this has been an incredibly stressful school year for us, we are taking a much needed Vegas trip the day after my LAST DAY OF WORK.  We will be spending a couple of days enjoying each other without the stress of school, work, or even home.  We are going to indulge in a couple’s massage and good food, but not without using the hotel’s fitness center.

Also, we are planning on making it out to Massachusetts for Chris’ friends wedding.  We were hoping to make it a nice long trip, going out to New York, but we really have to plan it out, and make sure its cost effective.

We are 8 days from finishing out first year at Cal Poly Pomona and I am 21 days from ending my TA career for now.  That means 21 days from focusing on our photography, but in the mean time I’m still snapping away and on June 17th we’re going to the Showit Freedom Tour.

Megan, I obviously I didn’t get to work, I did this instead, but I promise I’ll work on the paper now.  MAYBE.

Happy Place: Dodgers Stadium

I was on the elliptical the other day and as my legs were trying to push through that resistance, sweat was pouring down my face, and my arms were pumping, I started to laugh to myself.  When I’m working out it is amazing where my mind wanders, and for some reason it wandered right into one of my happy places.  This may sound incredibly silly to you, but my happy place is Dodgers Stadium.

I grew up a Dodgers fan, thanks to my mom.  I liked the Dodgers as a kid and even when I stopped following baseball I still wanted my Dodgers to win.  Amazingly enough my first real Dodgers game was only 6 years ago and I remember it well.  It was the Dodgers vs. Rockies and the game went into extra innings, I witnessed a Grand Slam, and I got to see Eric Gagne pitch.  Since I had such a memorable first game, I wanted Chris (a total Yankees fan) to experience what I did.  So last season, with our good friend Katee, we ventured to the ravine and watched as the Dodgers worked over the Cardinals.   Ever since then we’ve been hooked.

There’s something about baseball and the Dodgers that makes me sentimental.  I love hearing the voice of Vin Scully on my TV, spotting Tommy Lasorda  watching the game,  singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame during the 7th inning stretch, and watching as the starting lineup is introduced and runs out on the field.   There’s no better feeling than watching your team hit a home run to get in the lead (and shut up the annoying Giants fans in front of you) and give high fives to complete strangers who are for a brief moment your friends because you share in each others joy.  I love standing up in solidarity as we wait for one more out to close out the game and singing I Love LA as “Dodgers WIN!” flashes on the boards.

So in my stressful world where I have very little time to myself, I workout and laugh as I think of one of my happy places.  I think of how excited and happy I get when they play “Ironman” and Jonathan Broxton comes running out of the Bullpen and they show an amazing reel of how awesome he really is.  Although, you should hear my Jonathan Broxton version of Iron Man, I think it’s better.    So I laugh because it’s probably one of the most random thoughts, but hey whatever makes you happy!

Ironman Jonathan Broxton!

When the Dodgers win, check out Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier (with Reed Johnson).

Probably the hottest thing in baseball.

It worked, turned this Yankees fan into a Dodgers fan.

This is my Blue Crew!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s that work so hard to give their children a good life and simply just give us all their love.

Thanks mom for giving me one of my happy places.

❤ Kimberly

Slumping

I have a major a confession to make. I am slumping. If they had senioritis for real life, this would be it. I haven’t been to work for three days, granted I have been sick, but I probably could have made it to work today. My body and brain would have hated me, but I could have struggled through it. As it is I am sitting in Chris’ calculus class and my brain hurts. I just had my calc midterm right in this class…so maybe I don’t have to feel guilty for feeling sick. I hate that I feel guilty for not working because I was sick. Guilt gets the best of me, even when there’s nothing to be guilty about.
My body, mind, and camera cannot wait until summer. The idea that I will be free to do what I want is exhilarating, but the whole unemployed thing scares me to death. I haven’t been unemployed since 2006 and even then I had a job lined up within a month of leaving. I know that it is best for me to leave, if I want to graduate I need to get out of there, if I want my body to stop hating me, I need to leave. The only thing that is getting me through the slumpiness is that I can finally work on me and the million things I love to do.
My mind has been churning and all these ideas are all coming out and I think that there is major potential in the success of these projects. I just need to come up with a reliable and talented support team. I am hoping that I find the right people.
So let’s hope the slump ends and I can push through the difficult school work and the tiring work work.

<3Kimberly

*What’s a blog without a photo? I’m not the only one that is slumping, so are my Dodgers. Andre Ethier is still cute despite the slump.*

Keeping It Real

On Thursday, I had one of those moments, a click.   It was like you could feel yourself approaching a turning point.  That’s what I had.  It was quick and felt impulsive, but as I called Chris on my way home from work I said, “I don’t think I want to work there next year, in fact I’m pretty sure.”  It just came out of my mouth, I didn’t really think about it, it just came out and I didn’t feel like shoving it back in, trapping it into my brain and saying “Whoa there, wait a minute.”

For the past four years I have been working at a school, being a teacher’s assistant for pre-school.  I’ll be completely honest, my first year I loved it.  It was fun, it touched my heart, and I felt like I was making a difference.  As the years have passed I still like it, I had a few moments that touched my heart, but less and less I feel like I am making a difference.  I love kids, no doubt about it, but working there for four years has taken a toll on me.  This year has been especially difficult.

This last school year was my first at Cal Poly Pomona and it sure was different from Cypress College.  A huge campus (hello hills, hello nice legs),  the quarter system (Physics in 10 weeks, YIKES!), and a whole 20.7 miles vs.  4.1 miles commute from home (605 and 10 = TRAFFIC).  Because school was so far, class times are so limited, and things go so fast, I have struggled.  Yeah, I admit it, working full time(ish) and going to school full time and trying to do things that I love has become difficult.  So I have been forced to cut out things that I love, which I hate.  My schedule currently has worked out like this:

8 – Work

3/4 -School

9ish (pending traffic) – Gym

10:30 ish -Home

Add into that equation tutoring, studying, homework, and I find myself a very busy stressed out girl.  I wanted to fit some of the things that I love back into the equation.

When I found out that there would be a Photo Expo at Cypress College with very fabulous speakers, I knew I had to go.  In the last couple years I have felt like I had been at a standstill with my photography and there was something about this event, this opportunity, that I knew could change things for me.  With a little hassle from my “boss” she reluctantly let me have the day off, but it was that moment that I knew things needed to change.  I understood where my “boss” was coming from, but I felt so restricted in my life, especially with this job.  It was my intention to go part-time for the purposes of school, and it was something I had been mulling over for months now.

That small exchange with my “boss” was what led me to my conversation with Chris.  It was time to get up and move forward.  Night Spot Photography was created in 2006 and it was now 2010 and we were not much further than we were then.  In the last year I had made strides towards a different style and left behind the night life.  This was my opportunity to make things happen, to make things work, to pursue what I loved.

At the photo expo I had the amazing opportunity to listen to the fabulous Jasmine Star speak.  She had so many wonderful, inspiring things to say.  Let me just tell you, I have been following Jasmine Star’s blog for a little over a year and I absolutely adore her work and most of all her personality, which she uses in every way to market herself.  When I saw online that she would be a speaker at the Photo Expo, I knew I needed to be there.

One of my favorite messages of the day was “KEEP IT REAL.”

This is exactly what I am doing now, I’m blogging and I’m keeping it real.  Chris and I aren’t perfect, far from it, we have flaws, some major some minor, but they make us unique in who we are.  We are unique individually and as a team.  I have the pleasure of doing what I love with the person that I love and that is amazing.  So this first blog is about keeping it real, being who I am, which in the last couple of years I have avoiding putting out there on the internet.

But here I am, giving it out for everyone to see.  Here I am, here we are, and here is what we do.

I have challenged myself to take my camera with me more.  Here are some pictures I took yesterday:

Jasmine Star’s Ghetto Fabulous Marketing

Ruckus, our silly ol’ dog.

❤ Kimberly